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G.I. JANE
Making America Proud



CAPTAIN   
So why did you join the Army, Private?


G.I. JANE   
Sir, I want to shoot real people, Sir!


CAPTAIN   
What do you mean, shoot real people?


G.I. JANE   
Sir, I mean, not just shoot at targets or hunt animals - Sir!


CAPTAIN   
So you’re telling me you joined the Army actually in order to shoot human beings? With guns? With live ammo?


G.I. JANE   
Sir, yes Sir! That’s my job, Sir! And a great job it is … Sir! Best job in the world, Sir! Ain’t none better, Sir!


CAPTAIN   
But you’re not supposed to be so enthusiastic about it, Private …! Or have fun doing it! What would people think, if our soldiers were hugely enjoying shooting real people? By the way: have you been shooting guns a long time?


G.I. JANE   
Sir, yes, Sir! Ever since I was a little girl, Sir!


CAPTAIN   
How’d that come about?


G.I. JANE   
Sir, my parents taught me to shoot since I reached an age I could hold a gun, Sir! Like around age of four, Sir!


CAPTAIN   
What kinds of guns?


G.I. JANE   
Sir, over time, everything I can think of, Sir!


CAPTAIN   
Meaning … ?


G.I. JANE   
Sir, everything from BB guns and airguns and revolvers and automatics to shotguns and hunting rifles and assault rifles and .50 cal - Sir! I’ve had tons of practice shooting at targets and animals - Sir! Through walls too, Sir!


CAPTAIN   
And why did you choose the Special Forces in particular, Private?


G.I. JANE   
Sir, I prefer to shoot people at close range, Sir! So’s I can shoot precisely at specific body parts - Sir!


CAPTAIN   
Really? So what would you do, then, if you were shooting human beings at close range, Private?

G.I. JANE   
Sir, depends on what they are, Sir! And also whether the circumstances are ideal or not, Sir!

CAPTAIN   
Meaning … ?

G.I. JANE   
Sir, if he’s a guy, I like to shoot his legs and arms off with a couple bursts of full auto fire from my M4A1 carbine, Sir! I’m talking about ideal circumstances, Sir! That is, at close quarters and I have time to spare after, Sir! And when he’s laying there helpless on the ground unable to walk or shoot, I like to take off my pants and panties, tie him up with my pants to reduce his thrashing, and stuff my panties into his mouth to muffle his yelling, Sir! Then I’m naked from the waist down, Sir! Except for my combat boots, Sir! And I know that in spite of his wounds he’ll find the sight of my smooth pussy hot, Sir! Then I like to pull down his pants and underpants, Sir! I like to sit on his face and give him a good look at my cunt and asshole, and a good taste of my pussy juice, Sir! He always gets horny when I do that, Sir! Then when his dick is standing at attention, I grab it with my right hand and suck on it with my mouth while I play with his ballsack with my left hand, Sir! And at the same time I give him a hand job with my right hand to make him cum faster, Sir! Makes me feel real hot and horny, Sir! Great fun, Sir! And of course it’s a bonus if his ballsack is soft and dangly at the time and feels nice in my hand, Sir! Not all hard and shrunken and drawn up into his body, is what I mean … Sir! Then when I’ve totally drained his balls of cum, I like to swallow every last drop, Sir! Love the taste, Sir! Then changing hands, I like to grab his balls tight with my left hand, and with my right hand I like to slice them off in one clean stroke with my Bowie knife - Sir! I keep it razor sharp specially for that purpose … Sir! Always carry it ready in its sheath, Sir! Never go anywhere without it, Sir!

CAPTAIN   
Seriously? Slice his … um, testicles off? In … one clean stroke?

G.I. JANE   
Sir, yes, Sir! Then I like to stuff his balls up my cunt, Sir! I then put my panties and pants back on and strut around with his bloody balls rolling around inside of me for the rest of the day - Sir! It’s a hot and horny feeling, Sir! Mighty satisfying, Sir! Awfully sexy, Sir! Makes me feel on top of the world, Sir!

CAPTAIN   
Wouldn’t his … balls … fall out of … uh, you … when you walk around with them … uh, down there?

G.I. JANE   
Sir, no, Sir! My pussy is very tight, Sir, and my panties too! … Sir! Due to my regular Kegel exercises, Sir! When I’m not carrying a guy’s balls up my cunt, I’m carrying steel balls up there, Sir! For practice, Sir! Like right now, Sir! My ben wa balls, you know, Sir! And I like my ass and pussy hugged tight all day by my strong, hip-grabbing spandex panties when I’m on duty, Sir! Makes me feel all hot and horny, Sir! Feels mighty sexy to me, Sir!

CAPTAIN   
You’ve actually done this sort of thing to enemy combatants … ? In real life? Not just fantasized doing it?

G.I. JANE   
Sir, I’ve had the chance to do it only a few times, Sir! Sadly, Sir! But I’m hoping to do it many more times - Sir! I get all hot and wet remembering having done it, and sure look forward to doing it again … Sir! Hopefully doing it again many more times, Sir! Mighty thrilled doing it, Sir! Leaves me immensely satisfied, and eager for more, Sir!

CAPTAIN   
You just leave the guy lying there wounded and … uh, castrated … and bleeding out slowly?

G.I. JANE   
Sir, no, Sir! After shoving his balls up my cunt while he watches me do it, I put my panties back on, Sir! But not my pants yet, Sir! And I strip him naked except for his combat boots, Sir! Wearing just my tight camo panties and my combat boots under my shirt and jacket and body armor, I like to watch him watch me play with my cameltoe as he twitches and bleeds from where his ballsack used to be, Sir! Then I like to shove the muzzle of my carbine up that asshole’s asshole, Sir! So’s when I’m cumming hard, I can empty my clip into his body at full auto … Sir! With our EPR fragmentation ammo I can scramble his insides totally - Sir! And many of the steel penetrators in the rounds, and the copper slugs behind them, exit his body, Sir! Feels real sexy, Sir! Blood erupting in many places on his body, Sir! Maybe exploding rounds could shred his torso to bits, Sir! Would make me cum hard, Sir! Pity exploding rounds with sufficient explosive power are illegal, Sir! But it’s fun to imagine, Sir!

CAPTAIN   
You hate him that much?

G.I. JANE   
Oh, no, Sir! I don’t hate him at all, Sir! Fact is I like him a lot, Sir! Otherwise I wouldn’t have messed with his balls and dick, Sir! Just sounded super cool to say “asshole’s asshole”, Sir! That’s why I said it, Sir! Term of endearment, so to speak, Sir! Just like the word “cunt”, Sir! He’s not really an asshole, Sir! He’s just got an asshole, Sir! Like everyone, Sir! I got an asshole too, Sir! You too, Sir! Couldn’t be alive without one, Sir! I got a cunt too - Sir! And mighty glad to have one, Sir! Favorite part of my body, Sir! Mighty proud to be called a cunt, Sir! Consider it a term of endearment too, Sir! Fact is, I’m very grateful for him giving me the opportunity to have fun with his dick and balls and suck him dry and empty my clip at full auto into his body through his asshole … Sir! Great fun, Sir! Makes me real horny, Sir! Few better feelings in life, Sir! Appreciate him greatly for giving me the opportunity to get so hot and horny, Sir! Specially since his cock and balls and cum felt real nice in my mouth and hands, Sir! And his warm bloody balls felt real nice the rest of the day in my cunt, Sir! A hard cock and soft dangly balls and warm fresh cum and blood always make me horny, Sir! Disappointed that I can’t do the same with our own guys, Sir! Unfortunate, Sir! I love my enemy, Sir! Much more than I love my friends, Sir! Must’ve been a real good guy, Sir! If he’d been a bad guy I guess his cock and balls and cum wouldn’t have felt so good to me, Sir! Bad can’t feel good, Sir! It’s a contradiction, Sir! Philosophically speaking, Sir!

CAPTAIN   
Now that’s a totally weird philosophical point, Private! However, I don’t feel qualified to debate it with any degree of success; at least not with you. But when do you have the time to … do all this … in the heat of battle?

G.I. JANE   
Sir, not too often, sadly, Sir! That’s why I’ve been able to do it just a few times, Sir! During most skirmishes I don’t have the time, Sir! Most times the circumstances are not ideal, Sir! I just have to fire a quick burst at their groins and then move on, Sir! They’re often unprotected by body armor there, Sir! Or else I fire at where their legs meet their torso, Sir! They’ll bleed out over time, Sir! But I won’t be there to enjoy seeing it, Sir! It’s not nearly as satisfying, Sir! Sure it’s more satisfying, than, say, shooting at targets or animals, Sir! But not as much fun as taking my time with them and sucking on their cocks and playing with their balls and swallowing their cum and slicing their balls off and stuffing their balls up my cunt and emptying my clip into their assholes, Sir! But if it’s a short skirmish or it’s towards the end of a skirmish and there’s time enough for love, I’m totally up for it - Sir!

CAPTAIN   
“… for love”? You serious, Private? … And by the way, just what did you mean earlier by saying “if he’s a guy”?

G.I. JANE   
Sir, if she’s a female, I carefully aim a single shot to her pussy, Sir! Under ideal circumstances, that is, Sir!

CAPTAIN   
Her … pussy?

G.I. JANE   
Sir, yes, Sir! Specifically, an inch or two above her slit, Sir! And I’d also take a shot at her gun to disarm her, Sir! I never miss, Sir! I’m a very good shot, Sir! Accurate … Sir! Lotsa practice shooting tiny animals, Sir! Can hit a hopping bunny at 60 yards, a scampering squirrel at 30, and a buzzing bee at 3, Sir! All cases video verified, Sir! Been shooting at moving animals for target practice every chance I get, Sir! I’m an expert markswoman now, Sir! Probably could win an Olympic medal, Sir! Not that I care to enter the Olympics, Sir! Not nearly as much fun as shooting real people with real ammo at close range while they’re shooting back at me with real ammo too, Sir!

CAPTAIN   
Impressive accuracy, Private! And, I have to say, exemplary courage on your part too, to do so in the face of the enemy shooting back at you; worthy of commendation, at least in my opinion. But … a shot to a woman’s … um, groin … wouldn’t kill her, would it?

G.I. JANE   
Sir, definitely not, Sir! That’s exactly what I want, Sir! Under ideal circumstances I’d want her alive but disarmed, Sir! So’s I can approach her as she lays there with her body twitching from my pussy shot, Sir! Then I’d strip her naked except for her combat boots, and tie her up with her own pants to reduce her thrashing, Sir! Her panties would by now be soaked in her blood and pee, Sir! I’d stuff them into her mouth to muffle her yelling, Sir! I’d play with her boobs and finger her bleeding pussy to get me even more horny, Sir! It’s a bonus if her boobs are a nice handful each, and if her pussy’s shaved, Sir! Often is with military girls, Sir! Helps them feel sexy, specially in a war zone, Sir! Helps me, anyways, Sir! And then when I’m finally mad horny I’d fire a couple carefully aimed single shots up her cunt so the two rounds exit at her tits - Sir! One round for each tit, Sir! Maybe also a third round aimed to exit near her belly button, Sir! I love to see her blood spurting out and over her tits and torso - Sir! Then I’d suck on her tits and slit to suck up some of her blood, Sir! It’s very hot to see her bleed out from those three or four new holes I’d have drilled in her body with my gun, and from her cunt as well of course … Sir! I get wet as all hell when I do that, Sir! My panties get totally drenched, Sir! Pussy juice soaks right into my pants, Sir!

CAPTAIN   
“… bleed out”? “… drilled”? “… three or four new holes”? Are you really serious, Private?

G.I. JANE   
Sir, yes, Sir! One shot to her pussy and one exit hole at each tit - Sir! And maybe a fourth exit hole near her belly button, Sir! In addition to her natural holes, Sir! And the taste of the blood in her slit and on her boobs is absolutely delicious - Sir! Specially in her slit, which is aways mixed with her pee ’coz she’d have peed herself - Sir! Or maybe my first pussy shot drilled a hole in her bladder, Sir! There’s also her pussy juice mixed in, Sir! Yummy, Sir! No liquid ever tasted better in my mouth, Sir! Except maybe those other guys’ cum, Sir! I get incredibly horny during the whole operation … Sir! Ain’t no better feeling in the whole fucking world than shooting a real person and then messing with their sex parts and sucking up their sex juices and blood and pee, Sir! Dream come true, Sir! That’s what I enlisted for, Sir! That’s what the Army’s all about - Sir! That awesome, exquisite, incredibly amazing hot and sexy feeling and slightly salty taste … Sir! No experience more sublime in the whole world, Sir!


CAPTAIN   
You’ve actually done this too? In real life? To real people? To living … women?


G.I. JANE   
Sir, so far only three times, Sir! Too few, Sir! Sadly, Sir! There’s not enough time during most skirmishes, Sir! Most circumstances are not ideal, Sir! But I hope to do it many more times, Sir! I’m bi, maybe even lean a little towards the lesbo side - Sir! Even now I’m getting wet and horny just remembering having drilled those three hot gals some hot new holes each, and thinking about doing it again some day … Sir! No point shooting real people if you don’t enjoy it to the max - Sir! No point me doing a job that doesn’t give me maximum job satisfaction … Sir! Otherwise I might as well just be a civilian, maybe a porn star or hooker at best, Sir! Just Plain Jane, not G.I. Jane, Sir! Not nearly as much fun as getting the chance to shoot real people with real ammo and then mess with their sex parts and enjoy the taste of their sex juices and blood and pee, Sir! Mighty grateful to the Army for giving me that opportunity, Sir! The Army’s always been real good to me, Sir! Can’t shoot real people with real ammo in civilian life, Sir! Not even in BDSM, or when making those obviously fake snuff porn videos, Sir!

CAPTAIN   
Seriously? Is that how you see the U.S. Army? As your personal domain for realizing your most violent sexual fantasies in real life? Shooting real people with real ammo and then raping them … both females and males?

G.I. JANE   
Sir, yes, Sir! Fact is, the first chance I get after having done that, I just have to get myself off, Sir! Can’t help it, Sir! I shove the muzzle of my loaded Glock 18 up my pussy and jill off till I cum and squirt at least a few times, if not many times … Sir! Jilling off with a loaded pistol at full auto setting is incredibly hot, Sir! Drilling a gal’s cunt and tits and sucking up some of her blood and pee and pussy juice sure as hell makes my day, Sir!

CAPTAIN   
Good Lord. “Incredible” certainly is the right word for your philosophy, Private! And, uh … by the way, aren’t you worried about your pistol going off inside of you while you’re … doing it … with a loaded gun?

G.I. JANE   
Sir, no, Sir! I’m awfully careful with guns, Sir! Been taught from an early age, Sir! Been jilling off with loaded pistols and shotguns and assault rifles ever since I could cum, sir! Around age thirteen or so, Sir! My parents taught me and my brother and sister well, Sir! We all got a proper sex education personally from our mom and dad, Sir!

CAPTAIN   
Jeez. Your parents approved of you shoving loaded firearms up inside your … body … at such an early age?!? And personally taught you and your siblings how do it, on top of that? With their own hands? … and, uh, bodies?

G.I. JANE   
Sir, ’course they did, Sir! Not only did they approve, they provided the guns and showed us in detail how to do it, Sir! All of us had a proper hands-on, mouth-on, dick-on, balls-on, cunt-on sex education from our parents, Sir! Only kind of sex ed that does any good, Sir! Words don’t teach, Sir! It’s only real life experience that teaches, Sir! And we gotta have our guns to protect our freedoms, Sir! And freedom don’t mean jack unless it’s freedom to have sex with loaded guns, Sir! We’re all proud Americans, my family, Sir! Parents and grandparents were in the military before me, Sir! Several generations in fact, Sir! Own firearms going all the way back to the Civil War, Sir!

CAPTAIN   
Unbelievable, the sex education your parents imparted to you and your siblings. Absolutely unbelievable! … And by the way, let me ask: what if enemy combatants did the same things to you as you did to them?

G.I. JANE   
Sir, just let them try, Sir! I’ve been trained well, Sir! By the U.S. Special Forces, Sir! Best in the world - Sir! No one fucks with me, Sir! … well, not unless I want them to, Sir! Gotta say, though, that quite often I do want them to, Sir! Fucking is great fun, Sir! Love to fuck, Sir! Fuck every chance I get, Sir! With a guy or a gal - or both, Sir! Or a gang, Sir! Love to fuck and watch others fuck and watch me fucking and talk about fucking and hear about fucking and read about fucking and write about fucking, Sir!

CAPTAIN   
Well, that’s your own private affair, Private, as long as you do it in private. But in war there are always casualties, Private!

G.I. JANE   
Sir, yes, Sir! Sure there are, Sir! But the casualties are only those who don’t know what they’re doing, Sir! Only fools end up casualties - Sir! Not those who know what they’re doing, Sir!


CAPTAIN   
And you think you know what you’re doing, so you’ll never become a casualty? Is that what you think?

G.I. JANE   
Sir, definitely, Sir! As I already said, I’ve had a top notch American upbringing, Sir! Homeschooled by my parents on a ranch, Sir! Shooting, hunting, fishing and fucking from an early age, Sir! Self defense too, Sir! Plus the five R's: right-wing reasoning, reading, research and riding, Sir! And general knowledge, courtesy of the Internet, Sir! And I’ve also had the best military training in the world, courtesy of the U.S. Special Forces … Sir! As I said, Sir!

CAPTAIN   
But what if you happen to make a mistake in the heat of battle? Don’t you think that in that case you could become a casualty?

G.I. JANE   
Sir, I never make mistakes - Sir!

CAPTAIN   
Never?


G.I. JANE   
Sir, never, Sir! I always have a Plan B in place ahead of time, and a Plan C, and a Plan D, all to way to Plan Z - Sir! Best military training in the world - Sir! As I said, Sir! I’m super competent, Sir! Courage is unnecessary, Sir! Courage is just stupid, Sir! People just mistake competence for courage, Sir! Like you did earlier, Sir!

CAPTAIN   
What if someone else in your squad makes a mistake and endangers your whole squad, you included?

G.I. JANE   
Sir, then I’d shoot them that made the mistake, Sir!

CAPTAIN   
You’d shoot even your own fellow Americans? Even those on your own side?

G.I. JANE   
They’re not on my side if they make mistakes that could endanger me and my whole squad - Sir! In that case they’re on the enemy’s side … Sir!

CAPTAIN   
Ever been raped, Private? Or even threatened with rape? By anyone, on our side or the enemy’s?

G.I. JANE   
Sir, not a chance, Sir! If anyone even tried, there’s a hundred-and-ten percent certainly of them losing not just their balls but their dicks too, Sir! And a family member or two back home on top of that, Sir! Or even more, Sir! Courtesy of my family back home, Sir! And my own family is immune from retaliation because they all know how to defend themselves, Sir! We’re all of us always prepared for anything, Sir! Rape never an issue, Sir!

CAPTAIN   
Are you saying you could never end up a casualty, either in war or otherwise? Never say never, Private!

G.I. JANE   
Sir, you could be right, Sir! But even if it were to happen, getting shot in my pussy and up my cunt all the way up my body and through my tits and belly button might be quite a sexy way to go, Sir! We all have to go some time, Sir! No sense dreading the inevitable, Sir! Maybe this would be a real cool way to go, Sir! Maybe the best, Sir! Takes little time, Sir! Much better than going slowly from diseases like cancer or Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s, Sir! I’m thinking that I might actually enjoy it if it’s done to me, Sir! I’ve fantasized about going this way myself, and it makes me hot and wet too, Sir! Best go in a horny frame of mind, Sir! Good way to go, Sir! And I’m thinking that those I’ve messed with might’ve enjoyed it too, Sir! At least deep down, Sir, realizing that it’s a quick and hot way to go, and everyone has to go some time, Sir! Sincerely hope they enjoyed it, anyways, Sir! The girls I messed with sure looked serene and blissful in their last few seconds on earth while bleeding out as I played with their tits and slits and sucked on them, Sir! A sight lovely to see, Sir! I do believe they were happy to go that way, Sir! Whatever the case, it can only be done to me once, Sir! And only at the end of my time on earth, Sir! Whereas I can shoot real people with real ammo lotsa times before that, and get incredibly hot and wet and horny messing with their sex parts soaked in their blood and pee and cum and pussy juice … Sir! And I can remember all those amazing good times to cheer me up when I’m down, and look forward to many more such times in the future, Sir! So the stats are massively in my favor, Sir! That’s why the Army’s so great, Sir! Gives us soldiers such a powerful chance to be cheerful to the max, Sir! Ain’t no point living if you’re not living cheerful to the max … Sir! Life’s always good to the max, Sir! God wouldn’t have created it otherwise, Sir! God’s infinitely good and wise, Sir! Never makes a mistake, Sir! That’s what I’ll teach my kids when I have them, Sir! Just like my parents taught me, Sir!

CAPTAIN   
You know, Private, many might call what you do, murder! You’re shooting wounded and disarmed enemy combatants and ripping their bodies apart with automatic fire, or else letting them bleed to death! What you do is at the very least a war crime. In fact, I myself would call it murder, straight up! Nothing less!

G.I. JANE   
Sir, there ain’t no such thing as murder - Sir!

CAPTAIN   
No such thing as murder?!?

G.I. JANE   
Sir, no there ain’t, Sir! ’Coz there ain’t no such thing as death, Sir! We all have eternal life in Our Lord Jesus Christ, Sir! It’s all there spelled out clearly in the Bible, Sir! The Good Book couldn’t be more clear about that, Sir! If we have eternal life we can’t die, Sir! And if we can’t die we can’t be killed, Sir! And if we can’t be killed we can’t be murdered - Sir! That’s just plain simple logic … Sir! Irrefutable, Sir!

CAPTAIN   
What about the commandment “Thou shalt not kill”? That’s in the Bible too!

G.I. JANE   
Sir, that’s a mistranslation of the original text, Sir! A Bible scholar I had an email exchange with explained it, Sir! Makes perfect sense, Sir! Else it would make a mockery of the promise of eternal life made to us by Our Lord Jesus Christ, Sir! Would make a mockery of all the wars the children of Israel fought against the Philistines under God’s command, Sir! Would make a mockery of David’s victory over Goliath, Sir! Would make a mockery of the conquest of the Promised Land under Joshua, Sir! The Bible’s chock full of tales of war, and what you might call killing and even murder, Sir! Even of children, Sir! But in reality there’s ain’t no such thing, Sir! That’s why it’s in the Bible, Sir! God totally approves of war and everything that goes with it, Sir! God approves of anything that makes us happy, Sir! And war does so in spades, Sir! It’s heaven on earth, Sir!

CAPTAIN   
What about the enemy, who might not all be Christians? Or even Jews? Or subscribe to your crazy ass views?

G.I. JANE   
Sir, that’s their problem, Sir! It’s not like the Bible is a closely guarded American military secret, Sir! And the Bible’s more than reputable, Sir! Word of God, Sir! No crazy ass views in it, Sir! Those who don’t want eternal life in Our Lord Jesus Christ, that’s their choice, Sir! It’s no skin off my back - Sir! What they want is what they’ll get, Sir! Eternal life or eternal death - it’s their choice, Sir! But eternal death is also nothing to be worried about, Sir! ’Coz if you’re eternally dead you’d never know it … Sir! Either way it’s all good, Sir! God wouldn’t have it otherwise … Sir! God’s infinitely wise and good, Sir! As I said, Sir! Life on earth is great, Sir! And it just gets better and better, Sir! Specially in the U.S. Army at war, Sir! Best life in the world, Sir! That’s why we’ve been given these powerful fully automatic weapons, and unlimited ammo for them, Sir! To get maximum fun out of them, Sir! Proud to be American, Sir! I say that from the bottom of my heart, Sir! God bless America, Sir!

CAPTAIN   
Private Jane, you are one fucking bitch!!!

G.I. JANE   
Sir, thank you, Sir! Very nice of you to say, Sir! Greatly appreciate it, Sir!

CAPTAIN   
That wasn’t meant as a compliment, Private!!

G.I. JANE   
But it definitely was a compliment, Sir! I sure as hell am one badass fucking bitch, Sir! I’m the kinda soldier America needs and wants, Sir! I’m the kinda gal that makes America proud, Sir! And if you want, Sir, I can show you just how good I am at being a fucking bitch … this evening after duty, if you’re free!




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